


Tormented Desire

by fullfirefafar



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: 3 angst stand before me, ANYWAYS how are yall belijita is back to drain my blood, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Pining, also i love emotionally broken belial, also theres a hint of belifaa, and i offer it happily, but since its not the main ship in this fic, dabs violently, i dont wanna cluster it so its in the additional tag, just because
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 09:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18385718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullfirefafar/pseuds/fullfirefafar
Summary: Belial wonders what it's like to be loved by the people he would die for.





	Tormented Desire

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIRL JEJE!!! heres a belijita angst to ruin you because thats how i show my love.

   _He wondered what it’s like to be close to him.  
  
  “Faa-san.” His voiced lulled a singsong tune. Standing behind the focused Astral, Belial leaned forward. “Oh Faa-saaaan.”  
  
  “What.” The Astral snapped, voice a sharp clip yet filled with anger that he was disturbed from his studies.  
  
  This never bothered the Primal.  
  
  “You should be happy to know that I’ve taken out the trash.” Both hands waved casually in front of him, next to the shorter being who refused to turn his head. “It was a bit rough, but I am so satisfied now!” Glee chirped in the hollow study room. “Did you purposely let me do that because I like things rough? You shouldn’t have, Faa-san.” A smile crept up those beautiful lips.  
  
  Lucilius never returned them. Ever.  
  
  “Ensure the other failed experiment is terminated tomorrow.” He continued scribbling, the tip of the quill now echoing in the room. “If it starts to show force, ends it immediately before you rip it apart.”  
  
  Shivers ran down the Primal’s spine. “Oh, how I do love your dirty talk, Faa-san.”  
  
  Ignorance was once again his response.  
  
  Belial was used to it. He was used to this cold behaviour, to this icy attitude. He shouldn’t expect much, shouldn’t anticipate much, but a part of him – a teeny, tiny part of him – vainly hoped for sign of attention.  
  
  Crimson eyes glanced at the Astral’s lap.  
  
  He wondered what it’s like to lay his head on them.  
  
  A twinge of nerves – fear, was it fear? – shook his body, sent prickles down the back of his neck.”Faa-san,” he called again, voice still seeped with devious neediness. As expected, Lucilius didn’t reply, eyes ever glued to the papers that sprawled messily on his desk.  
  
  Belial wished the Astral would be the mess on the desk instead.  
  
  “Faa-san…” Tone slowed, evened slightly to catch his attention. The sound of scribbling still continued, now edging him a bit to know that the quill got more attention than him. “Oi, Faa-san—”  
  
  “_What. _” Lucilius then snapped, his free hand slammed once on the table. His gaze however never fell on the Primal; ego and annoyance glued his position from head to toe.  
  
  Belial would take it. A slight pang that he could only guess was heartbreak hit his heart, but he would take it. “I did something dirty for you, you know.” White teeth gleamed maliciously under the sun’s brilliant rays. “Don’t I at least get a reward for being a good boy?” One foot stepped closer until his hip gently bumped the table. “For once, being obedient isn’t so bad, and I even cleaned by hands in case you want me to warm up that lithe body of yours.” His smirk ever devilish. His tone ever husky. Belial only gazed at the silent Astral.  
  
  His eyes remained hopeful, focused.  
  
  “Go away, Belial.”  
  
  His heart remained cracked, twisted.  
  
  “Aww, come on, Faa-san—”  
  
  “Go away.” Hatred seethed between tightly clenched teeth. “Before I decide to terminate you instead.”  
  
  Belial didn’t realize that his hand had stilled as he tried to reach for him.  
  
  Without waiting for a response, Lucilius continued writing. Dark irises were focused, too focused, at the writings mostly he could understand. Pale lips pursed tight, then relaxed to a straight line as his attention drifted back to his findings.  
  
  Not a sound peeped from the Primal.  
  
  Slim fingers held perfectly still. Then seconds, long, ticking seconds, echoed in the room before he slowly curled them into a fist. Silence still hummed from him. The smile he wore slowly faded to a frown – the tiniest frown that no one could ever realize except Lucilius.  
  
  …Assuming he would ever look at him.  
  
  The twitch only lingered in seconds, however, before the bittersweet smile curled each corner of his red lips.  
  
  “Fine, fine. Faa-san doesn’t feel like fooling around today.” The chuckle was forced and heavy. “Maybe tonight? Or next time?”  
  
  Not a single reaction.  
  
  “Next time it is.” He expected this. To be ignored. To be dismissed completely. All the things that made Belial love him unconditionally.  
  
  So focused. So stiff. Lucilius was perfect and beautiful like this, Belial wondered what it’s like to see him break into a moaning, panting mess.  
  
  The tiny pain in his heart shook him back to reality.  
  
  Crimson eyes stared at his lap again.  
  
  Knowing full well that he wouldn’t be treated to anything today, Belial finally slid a few steps back. The signature smile curled spitefully, he himself basking in the ignorance that now clawed his heart.  
  
  Without a word, Belial gave a single bow and walked towards the door. The sound of Lucilius writing still hummed like a song. The hollow beat of Belial’s footsteps accompanied suit.  
  
  He hated that quill.  
  
  After the silent slide of his body out the room, Belial closed the door behind him.  
  
  He wondered what it’s like to be his and his alone._  
  
\---  
  
  He wonders what it’s like to be close to her.  
  
  “Singularity.” His voice lulls a singsong tune. Standing beside the focused Skydweller, Belial leans forward. “Oh Singularityyy.”  
  
  Feeling that someone was close along with hearing the sound of her many nicknames purring in her left ear, Djeeta turns her head. “Oh, Belial!” Surprise gleams in her glorious brown eyes. A smile instinctively tugs the edges of her pretty pink lips.  
  
  This bothers the Primal a bit.  
  
  Still, his smile ever loyal on his face, Belial dramatically stretches one hand to the side. “You should be happy to know that I’ve taken care of those naughty monsters.” The smile curls into a cocky grin. “It wasn’t satisfying, though. They broke so easily the moment I started to show force. One even had its legs spread far too apart, it ripped its body into two.” A sign slipped between his laughter.  
  
  The corners of his eyes twitch just slightly when he hears her laugh.  
  
  What an annoying sound.  
  
  “Thank you, Belial.” Honesty hums in the air. “Those monsters weren’t that hard, but it did hurt the villagers that we passed by yesterday.” The book that she was reading now placed on her lap, Djeeta taps her lower lip with one finger. “Let’s just hope we got every last of them.”  
  
  Crimson eyes dart to those luscious lips. “I assure you, every single one of them are broken to a point where they can never move again.” The laugh cracks around them. “They were too soft too. Makes me wish for something harder…” Tone lulls huskily as eyes remain fixed on her tiny pout. “Bigger…”  
  
  Unaware of the lustful gaze he gives her, Djeeta merely gives a shrug. “Oh well.” She caught his perverted remarks; she just chose to ignore it.  
  
  He knows she knows what he means.  
  
  “Thanks again.” Head turned in his direction, her smile flashes even brighter.  
  
  His heart feels heavy all of a sudden.  
  
  “Anything to satisfy you, Singularity.” Every single reaction bothers him. Every single reaction that doesn’t involve her ignoring him brings a squeeze to his once cold dead heart. Belial watches as the Captain continues her reading, probably assuming that he has done talking to her for today.  
  
  He technically is.  
  
  He just doesn’t want to be.  
  
  He isn’t used to this. He isn’t used to this cheerful, receptive attitude. He shouldn’t expect much, shouldn’t anticipate much, but a part of him – a teeny, tiny part of him – vainly wonders if he deserves such an attention.  
  
  He wonders if he could deserve more.  
  
  Crimson eyes dart to the book in her hands – how he envies that book. Sharp, silent gaze lowers to her chest, her stomach, then to her stretched legs, and finally, her lap.  
  
  He finds it annoying that anxiety pricks his heart.  
  
  “Hey, Singularity…” His voice is a master of deceit, for it perfectly masks the bundle of nerves that starts to compile from within. He waits for a reaction, and a reaction she gives when she lowers her book and willingly looks at him.  
  
  Willingly. Curiously. Patiently.  
  
  Everything he never knew he could get.  
  
  “I did something dirty for you, you know.”  
  
  He wants more.  
  
  A single eyebrow arches on her forehead. Though verbal response is void, Belial knows she is patiently waiting for his next words.  
  
   _More…_  “I basically obeyed your orders like a good little boy.” One foot slides closer. “The least you can do is…oh, I don’t know, give me a reward?” Devilish grin curls wider.  
  
  This time, silence becomes his answer.  
  
  He’s supposed to be used to this. He should’ve expected this sort of reaction from the start.  
  
  And yet, as crimson eyes gleam in hidden desperation and grin slowly fades to a teasing smile, Belial huffs out a bittersweet chuckle before adds, “Maybe next time the—”  
  
  He stops when he witnesses her placing the book by her side.  
  
  Her head lowers. Strands of blonde hair cascades down to vainly hide the emotion that now burns each cheek. Pink lips purse slightly, tightly, then pops to a single breath. The atmosphere around them seems intense, yet neither move too much in fear that this moment might shatter like glass.  
  
  “Sit.”  
  
  Shoulders actually flinch to hear her voice. “Hmm?”  
  
  “Sit, Belial.” Her voice was firm yet gentle. Sharp but soft.  
  
  It sends shivers up the back of his neck.  
  
  Curiosity hovers in his head, Belial plops a seat next to her. Like a cat being adorably obedient to his master, he tilts his head slightly.   
  
  She still isn’t looking at him.  
  
  She is, however, moving one hand towards him.  
  
  Curious. Then confused. And before Belial could ask of her actions,  
  
   _Plop._  
  
  The next thing he knows, his head has landed on something soft.  
  
  The air around them intensifies to a hundred.  
  
  For the first time in his 2000 years of living, Belial was stumped stupid.  
  
  Minutes feel like hours. Hours feel like days. And it isn’t until he hears her voice that he is finally slammed back to the world he despised living it.  
  
  Head snaps to the side. Dumbfounded gaze fallen to the silently sheepish Captain above him.  
  
  “What…?” she finally mutters, denying the foolish thing she has ever done today. “You said you wanted a reward. And unless you can prove me wrong, you’ve been eyeing my lap for a few long seconds while I was reading.”  
  
   _Ah, so she realized._  
  
  “S-So anyways…” She keeps talking, keeps masking her blush in vain, “I figured that it’s a nice sunny day and I’m cozy here and we’re both out here alone…” Astrals, she should shut up soon. “And uh…y-you…did say that you did good job….which, you did.” Okay, she’s going to shut up.  
  
  Just not now. “You did great. You’ve been nothing but helpful all these years. You proved yourself to be a trustful member of the crew. I’m so proud of you, you know. Super proud.” She should really keep her hands to herself too, “And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…” because before she knows it, slender fingers have caressed his deep dark hair.  
  
  Finally, silence stitches her mouth.  
  
  But she is too late, for both of them now remain stiff-silent at her words and actions.  
  
  He gapes at her. She refuses to return his baffled stare.  
  
   _Here it comes_ , she agonizes.  _He’s going to give some perverted comments and I either have the choice to deafen it out or push his head away._  The latter seems tempting. But the feel of his surprisingly soft hair provides to be the better temptress.   
  
  So Djeeta opts to just close her eyes, to just drown out any unnecessary verbal abuse he was ready to give her—  
  
  “Thank you, Djeeta…”  
  
  Brown eyes feel like they are about to pop out.  
  
  Is she deaf now? She is pretty sure she is deaf now. Unless she heard him wrong, unless the man on her lap isn’t actually  _the_  Belial, Djeeta could swear he had said—  
  
  Finally she looks at him.  
  
  He isn’t looking at her anymore.  
  
  He doesn’t say a word. Is he asleep? He sounded like he was mumbling. His head faces forward, body unmoving as he lies on his right side. Concern scratches the lines on her face, so Djeeta carefully leans forward to get a better look.  
  
  His eyes are closed. His breathing is even.  
  
   _Ah, so he really is tired._  The smile that quivered ever so harshly minutes ago finally breaks free. Heat burns in each cheek. Heartbeat echoes a bit too loudly in her chest.  
  
  He looks so peaceful.  
  
  Her back straightened against a wall, Djeeta breathes out a sigh of relief.  _Jeez…_  She wonders how she manages to survive all these years, what with her reckless and spontaneous attitude and all. Amusement tickles her throat. Warmth seeps into her suddenly hot neck.  
  
  Her palm falls gently into his thick hair again.  
  
  “Sweet dreams, Belial…” Fingers trace along the curve of his left ear. Hearing his breathing as a sign of a reply, Djeeta giggles quietly before reaching out for her book.  
  
\---  
  
  Hours passed by quickly before the sun decides to set.  
  
  And it was those long hours that kept Belial awake and tortured.  
  
   _“And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…”_  
  
  He feels tired. So tired.  
  
  Those words ring true in his ears, in his mind, in his aching heart. Though Belial has tricked her into thinking he had fallen asleep, the Primal wished could trick himself into thinking this was never real.  
  
  But it is.  
  
  It is. And he hates that he’s both distraught and exhilarated by it.  
  
  He feels her left hand on his shoulder. He feels her right hand on his head. Belial ponders when exactly she decided to lull into slumber. The book she was reading had plopped by her side. The sounds of her giggles and hums are now replaced with calm breathing.  
  
  He wonders if he deserves all of this.  
  
   _“And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…”_  
  
  Carefully, silently, he sits up. Her hands drop by her side.  
  
  He hates that he misses her touch already.  
  
   _“And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…”_  
  
  Dull, crimson eyes stare at the woman next to him. She seems so peaceful, so calm. Everything about her radiates the sun, the moon, the life that walks on this earth.  
  
  And she notices him. She accepts him. For all of his flaws and sins, she accepts him.  
  
   _“And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…”_  
  
  Fingers clench tightly against the wooden tile. A broken gaze emptily stares at her, at her face, at her closed eyes, at her nose.  
  
  At her lips.  
  
  They were slightly apart. Each lip looks plump, looks inviting, and Belial holds back a growl that beckons to escape his throat.  
  
  She is helpless in front of him. There isn’t a single weapon in sight. Belial could take her right now. He could put his hands around her neck and choke her if he wants to. Although she is known for her incredible strength, the Primal knows it will be too late before she could stop him from ending her.  
  
  Both hands move to her direction.  
  
  Expression is void from the fallen angel. Not a peep. Not a sound. A smile he is so often seen with is gone, instead replaced with a thin line of sheer apathy.  
  
  His hands move to her. Closer. And closer.  
  
  She is all his. He will soon be free from this emotional turmoil.  
  
  Closer…and closer…  
  
  He can finally have his revenge. He can finally hear that delightful choke that will happily push him into an orgasm.  
  
  So his arms stretch towards her, closer to her.   
  
  He can end this. He can finally have what he wants.  
  
  He can finally…finally…  
  
   _“And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…”_  
  
  Her skin is finally felt by his fingers.  
  
  Her neck. Her shoulders. Her body.  
  
  Under the orange hue that colours the calm sky, a slow groan fills in the heavy silence.  
  
  Both arms remain tight around her shoulders. Both arms shake pitifully as he tries to tighten his embrace.  
  
  Chin rested on her right shoulder, Belial shakes his head slowly. Crimson eyes regain its mortality – or something akin to whatever he is feeling right now. Deep breaths are in and out…and in…and out. He stares at nothing in particular, for his vision is now filled with her.  
  
  Her smile. Her laugh. Her kindness. Her strength. Her.  
  
  The vision is slowly starting to blur. Belial blinks once, then nuzzles weakly into her neck once he feels something sickly warm down his cheeks.  
  
  Out of reflex, Djeeta shifts closer in his arms. This only encourages him to tighten his hug.  
  
  He doesn’t want to let go. Not yet. Not ever.  
  
   _“And I—I’m so happy to have you with me…”_  
  
  “I love…you…” The single confession lulls so weakly, so faintly, drowned in the sea of his tears, “my saviour…”  
  
  He wonders what it’s like to be hers and hers completely.  
  
_**END**_

**Author's Note:**

> also aaaaaaaaa sidenote thank you so so so much for the nice comments in my previous belidjeeta fic!!! gosh im so happy everytime i get an email about a comment or even a kudos i forgot hw great it feels!!! ;w;
> 
> thank you for your support. i hope that you guys enjoy this fic too and (hopefully) the many future belidjeeta fics i have in store (my brain). it just makes me so happy to see people read n enjoy my work hehehehe
> 
> also angsty belial is my heart and soul yall have been warned


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